Boo Hoo Redux: Dry cleaner wins missing pants case

WASHINGTON -- A judge ruled Monday that no pair of pants is worth $54 million, rejecting a lawsuit that took a dry cleaner's promise of "Satisfaction Guaranteed" to its most litigious extreme.

Roy L. Pearson became a worldwide symbol of legal abuse by seeking jackpot justice from a simple complaint - that a neighborhood dry cleaners lost the pants from a suit and tried to give him a pair that were not his.

"A reasonable consumer would not interpret 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' to mean that a merchant is required to satisfy a customer's unreasonable demands," the judge wrote.

Speaking to reporters outside their dry cleaners, the Chungs said they held no hard feelings toward Pearson. "If he wants to continue using our services, then, yes, he is welcome," Soo Chung, a Korean immigrant, said through a translator.


These are just snippets from the full length article linked above. By what's been reported, I believe the Chungs went above and beyond the norm trying to resolve this situation. Pearson could have accepted one of their offers, and bought himself several similarly-priced suits with the proceeds - instead, he got greedy & lost. He wound up having to pay the Chungs' clerical court fees, he may be liable for their attorney's fees (a motion to recover costs will "be considered later"), and he's facing the possibility of of losing his position on the bench and being disbarred from practice.

All for the sake of a pair of trousers.

It may be worth it, though, to the rest of us - we now have a very clear idea of what kind of person Roy L. Pearson really is. He'll be lucky to have anyone take him seriously in the future.

Oh, Boo Hoo

Jun 12, 6:55 PM EDT
Judge Suing Dry Cleaner Cries Over Pants

By LUBNA TAKRURI
Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A judge had to leave the courtroom with tears running down his face Tuesday after recalling the lost pair of trousers that led to his $54 million lawsuit against a dry cleaner.

Whiskey. Tango. Hotel....?

Methinks this judge has too much free time on his hands... quite possibly for a reason, if his conduct here is any indication of how he behaves on the bench.

Addendum to FBI investigation in El Paso

Just a snippet of various newsblurbs from our "esteemed" El Paso Times to keep the record up to date - click on the story headlines to read each article in its entirety (and don't forget the popcorn):

Public corruption investigated: FBI warrant names 22
Ramon Bracamontes and Erica Molina Johnson. / El Paso Times
Article Launched: 05/18/2007 12:00:00 AM MDT

The FBI agents searching the El Paso County Courthouse on Tuesday were looking for specific documents and records relating to the three Commissioners Court members and to 19 other people and businesses, according to information obtained by the El Paso Times.

Among the people listed on a document attached to the search warrant as an exhibit titled "Items to be Seized" were lawyer David Escobar; community businessman Sonny Garcia, who owns LKG, a consulting firm; and former El Paso County Judge Luther Jones.

Law officials marvel at extent of NCED inquiry
Ramon Bracamontes / El Paso Times
Article Launched: 05/20/2007 01:30:45 AM MDT

Though the FBI has not classified its widening investigation of former employees of the National Center for Employment of the Disabled as a public corruption case, experts say it's shaping up that way because of the many raids it has made on businesses, homes and government offices.

FBI officials will only say that Tuesday's raids at the County Courthouse and elsewhere are part of an ongoing criminal investigation. But the search warrants used Tuesday were obtained under Title 18 -- the section of federal law that covers public corruption involving theft, bribery, fraud and swindles concerning programs receiving federal money.

Officials' jobs safe during FBI query
By David Crowder / El Paso Times
Article Launched: 05/28/2007 12:00:00 AM MDT

If the investigation that led FBI agents to the El Paso County Courthouse two weeks ago results in indictments against public officials, state law does not require anyone to resign or force anyone out of office before there are convictions.

But state law apparently says nothing about what happens if a county judge and two county commissioners are suddenly gone because of an accident or legal action.


FBI recorded calls of many as part of NCED probe
By Ramon Bracamontes / El Paso Times
Article Launched: 06/05/2007 12:00:00 AM MDT

A growing list of El Paso community and elected officials have received letters from the U.S. Attorney's Office informing them that their telephone conversations were recorded as part of a widening investigation that began at the National Center for Employment of the Disabled.


Definition Title 18 violations
Article Launched: 05/16/2007 01:00:00 AM MDT

A copy of the search warrant for County Commissioner Miguel Teran states that investigators were looking for "documents constituting evidence concerning violations of Title 18 of the United States Code Sections 666, 1341, 1346, and 1956, as more particularly described in Attachment B and incorporated herein."

Attachments to the search warrants for all those investigated on Tuesday were sealed by the FBI.

According to the U.S. Code, Title 18 involves "Crimes and Criminal Procedure." The particular sections specifically involve:
# Section 666: Theft or bribery concerning programs receiving federal funds.
# Section 1341: Frauds and swindles.
# Section 1343: Fraud by wire, radio or television.
# Section 1346: Definition of "scheme or artifice to defraud." The term "scheme or artifice to defraud" includes a scheme or artifice to deprive another of the intangible right of honest services.
# Section 1956: Laundering of monetary instruments.

Tim Frazier's Response to the "Notice of Revocation of American Independence"

Back in July of 2005 after reading the “Notice of Revocation of American Independence”, which some claim was written by John Cleese, I went on a blogging comment rampage and published a rebuttal. It turns out that my single comment to the “Cleese” letter has been taken as an “official American response” and reposted all over the internet. Many have pointed out some of the mistakes I made in my hastily drafted rebuttal and hence I have had to edit it carefully as I have apparently become one of the few voices for America in this struggle to fend off a humorous British re-acquisition. Here is my rebuttal:

To the citizens of Great Britain,

I obviously got your letter "Notice of Revocation of American Independence", supposedly written by John Cleese, long after it was written and released into the wilderness of the World Wide Web. The last incompetent leader elected in the United States of America was Bill Clinton, and we did it as a joke.

I do recommend you swallow and put your drink down before reading the entire rebuttal on the CHL Grapevine. Tim owes me a new keyboard....

Oh - Tim also has a free chatroom on the CHL Grapevine. Feel free to pop in and say "Hi" if you see me; I sign in as 'quidni' there as well.