quidni pro quo

Random musings at random intervals. Erudition not guaranteed.

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Location: El Paso area, Texas, United States

I'm a 40-something Christian, conservative, pro-life, Constitutionalist, motorcycle-riding, pick-up truck driving, wife, mother, state employee, ham radio operator and part-time college student, enlisted in the Texas State Guard. Everything else is subject to revision without notice.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Lord, help me and my family....

.... I'm dieting. Knowing my track record, I'm more likely to stick to it if I journal it than if I keep it secret. So.

I've been fussing about my weight for several years now, half-heartedly resigned to genetics that cause most of the women in my family to "bottom out" in their 40's. OK, not cause, per se, but that definitely make it easier to gain weight than to lose it. I don't look like I weigh as much as I do, since it's mostly from the waist down; easier to dress to hide it than it is to hide upper body weight gain. (full, below-the-knee skirts are a God-send!) I finally got tired of listening to myself whine, & going up one more size in jeans yet again. I'm going to "bite the bullet" as it were (I'd rather bite into a cheesy, crispy quesadilla) and see if I can actually do something about it.

My husband is perfectly happy with the way I look. But I'm not happy with the way I feel. My goal is to lose a minimum of 15 lbs, no more than 20. That doesn't sound like much, no, but I'm only 5'2" when I stand up straight, and I should weigh no more than 130. No less than 125, either. I don't go for the "runway model" look. (Not that I could ever be one, but that's a completely different topic....)

Y'see, in addition to dealing with fibromyalgia most of my life, I was hit by a car when I was 15 - it smacked me from behind & threw me over the hood onto my head in the median. (Yeah - landing on my head is probably what saved my life - densest bone I had at the time. You should have seen the dents I left in the pavement.) But it caused some degenerative damage to my lower spine that's showing up more as I get older. Any excess weight, even a couple pounds, equals more strain on my spine, & more tendency to flareups of the fibro. Which, really, doesn't do a lot towards making me easier to live with. Who needs to wait for PMS?

Add allergies, specifically food allergies, on top of that. Many of the "healthy" foods recommended by docs are on my "sensitive to, or actually allergic to" list. In fact, if I were to eat only those foods that I absolutely know I'm not allergic or sensitive to, I'd be stuck eating rice, green beans, ice cream and strawberry shortcake for the rest of my life. Which would subsequently be rather short, I imagine.

I kid you not. I'm not allergic to eggs - but I do have sensitivities to poultry meat. Tomatoes, those wonderfully healthy, immune-system-boosting darlings of nutritional experts, will put me into anaphylaxis. You know how hard it is to find a good chile recipe that doesn't use tomato? (and green chile recipes are out, as my hubby can't eat them.) Wheat and rice, and dairy give me no problems. Carrots, on the other hand... well, as long as I don't "overdo" them I can eat a few now and then. Why can't I have allergies to sensible things? I wouldn't mind being allergic to liver....

(When they tested me some years ago, out of the 60+ most common allergens checked there were exactly 6 that I did not react to. Spectacularly. "Ma'am, it's been five minutes, how are you feeling ohmygodgetthedocinhereFAST!" I still chuckle when I remember the look on the intern's face when he saw my back. It would have been really funny if I hadn't felt so much like I needed to claw the skin off of my back while running, screaming, only half-dressed, down the hallway. I'm sure the interns really would have had some stories to tell, then. I understand they now have other ways of checking for allergies other than the fiendish "tine test.")

Add to that an almost insane craving for carbs, any kind of carbs (no, I'm not pre-diabetic - I just have a sweet tooth that has a mind of its own). While I really don't expect to go ballistic while awake, I can't guarantee that I won't go Rambo liberating the left-over tamales and bag of pretzels in the kitchen in my sleep....

So my guys have to deal with me if I don't lose weight, or they have to deal with me while I'm trying to lose weight.

Lord help us all.


Blogger CHIC-HANDSOME said...

good year

1/15/2007 2:01 PM  

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