Today at the office....

Young Mom with rambunctious toddler boy: Honey, sit still and pay attention so that she (and here she pointed to me) can give you some candy when we're done.

Me: No, Ma'am, I don't have any candy at my desk. Please don't tell him that.

YMWRTB: I know you don't, but I'm trying to get him to listen and calm down.

Me: (fuming)

It's no wonder this kid didn't listen to his mom... he probably knew from experience that she was lying.